i can’t believe we live in a world where someone on tumblr can call chris evans a dorito in the tags of some post and have it circulate so widely that robert downey jr calls him that often enough that chris evans gets the joke behind it.
i think of america as some sort of quaint faraway wonderland its like u guys live in another dimension what the fuck is black friday why is thanksgiving and whats the deal with wearing white and labour day and why aren’t there any fucking u’s in ur words why do you measure in like feet and body parts and shit thats super fucked up
whenever i’m sad i like to imagine what possible crime Steve Irwin’s ancestor committed to warrant him being sent to Australia like some Victorian gentleman escorting a lady to the zoo past the crocodile enclosure and going “do you see that great wyrm sunning itself there? quite a striking creature, is it not? I do believe I shall engage it in fisticuffs.”